Hello to each and every one of you reading this!!
I want to share with you all my love and light as I welcome you back to my blog — and more importantly — back into my life! It’s been over two years since I wrote here and so much has changed since then. If you’ve got a second, pour you a cup of something you love and take a second to get to know me…now.
The truth is, I have been plagued with paralysis for the better part of two years: scared in my new role as mom, stuck in a not so happy relationship, immobile because it’s petrifying to face some of life’s challenges in an open and honest way with you, my faithful homies.
In 2016 I became a mom to the most wonderful young man I could’ve ever dreamed of – Preston Cruz. I was a 34 year old career woman on the fast track to stardom and really had no interest in being a parent at that time. I mean, mommy hood seemed like one of those things I would one day check off my list after the big fancy wedding to Dwayne Johnson, a whirlwind honeymoon around the world, a few years more of being a bad ass business mogul and trophy wife (hey, a girl can dream!), AND THEN a Preston Cruz.
Seemed legit, right?
Well, what I didn’t plan for was a little (ok, a lot) of attention from a nice guy I met at a gas station who had a sweet eyes and a fancy car – who flashed a smile and asked me to dinner. He was relentless in his pursuit of me and I was charmed by the daily floral delivery he’d send, so it didn’t take too long to be persuaded into another date. Welllllll, as we adults know, one date leads to two, two dates leads to four, and in my case, eight dates led to 9 months of pregnancy… HA!
During the same week I discovered I was pregnant, I also discovered that FAB Life, the daily talkshow I was co-hosting with the beautiful Chrissy Teigan, Joe Zee, and Leah Ashley was being cancelled. I was out of a job and becoming a mom — two things I was TERRIFIED about. Everything that was familiar and safe was being disrupted and
I spent the next 24 months riding the rollercoaster of life. I had a baby. Then, I haaaad A BABY! Then I had a baby to raise, and more bills to pay, and a relationship that was stressed under the needs of a newborn, and responsibilities, and feelings of overwhelming love, followed by paralyzing fear, and anxiety, and uncertainty, and … it all.
Looking back, I realize that I was growing. Nobody tells you that a by-product of growth means OUTgrowing something else… and unfortunately relationships both platonic and romantic were forced beyond their limits, and I have found myself on the other end of this growth, with a lot less fake “friends”.
And I’m now a single momma.
Under my new independent role I’ve forced to examine some things about me and my life so that I may be the best role model and example for my son. I started going to bed earlier, drinking a bit less, eating more veggies, consuming more water…. and, most importantly, I found a life coach and trusted therapist that gave me the tools to figure it all out. I’m doing the work that it takes to be mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically fit so that I fill him with the best of me. In doing my work, I’ve found I am able to be a better friend, daughter, sister, designer and homegirl to YOU! I am – and forever will be – a work in progress, but one that I can say is on a solid path toward health and happiness! And my baggage, both physical and mental has been lightened!
So here I am. An evolving me, with a new sense of self, of purpose and of direction, and I’m back to give you all my best homegirl advice – from everything DIY projects, to fashion, to single mom tips! I certainly have a lot more LIFE experience to share and I hope you’re down to come along for the ride!
Giddy up homies! Here we go!